Relationships


Relationship Articles Home Page | Singles7.com Home Page

Vital information and articles related to relationships.


Can Men And Women Be Friends? Or When Harry Met Sally Did He Really Just Want to Jump Her Bones?


Men and women can't really be just friends, can they? Of course not. There's always that pesky sexual tension to contend with. And what about the spouse, spousal equivalent, or boyfriend/girlfriend who's sure to be jealous? Plus, there's the biological/sociological nesting imperative that women contend with and the hunting imperative that seems to drive men.

A number of years ago, a landmark study published by Dr. Don O'Meara, a sociology professor at Raymond Walters College, identified the following four key obstacles to the success of male-female friendships

  • The inability to define the relationship

  • A fear of confronting feelings of sexual attraction

  • The inability of both partners to see each other as equals

  • Society's response to a non-romantic relationship

(This is all of the above rolled into one: What's going on here? Who do they think they are? They just won't admit that they're hot for each other!)

Let's face it, when you come right down to it - there are just too many impediments and too many inherent differences between the sexes for cross-gender friendship to work. Right?

Wrong, wrong, and double-wrong - at least in today's world.

Fifty years ago, when Harry met Sally, he was a breadwinner who worked outside the home and she was a stay-at-home mom (or stay-at-home spinster). Harry and Sally had very little in common and very few opportunities to explore their commonality. Their paths never crossed except at a church social, perhaps, or in situations that were specifically created to foster romance and, by extension, procreation and the continuation of the species. (Not the stuff sonnets are made of, perhaps, but good for society.)

That was then. This is now.

21st Century men and women follow their passions inside and outside the home and stand shoulder to shoulder as equals in most situations. In 2002, Harry and Sally work side by side at the office. They argue head-to-head at the boardroom table. They run hip to hip on the jogging trail. They may not see eye to eye on every issue, but they freely debate them in Internet chatrooms.

So today, not only do Harry and Sally have a solid foundation of shared interests on which to build a real friendship, they also have time and space to pursue a cross-gender friendship and a society that encourages them to do so. In fact, experts tell us that in today's world, men and women in platonic friendships enjoy dozens and dozens of benefits from their relationships.

Interestingly, men seem to get more out of cross-sex friendship. In a study by a psychologist in private practice on Long Island in New York State, men rated cross-sex friendships higher in overall quality than their same-sex friendships. Men reported they most enjoyed talking and sharing with women - something they didn't do with male friends.

All that sharing that men find so appealing - organic though it may be to women -- can be a bit of a drain, so les femmes say they turn to les hommes for a different dynamic. With men, women say they enjoy the lightness of not having to carry someone else's emotional 'baggage.' Women may also derive a sense of safety and protection from their male platonic friends - much as they might from a big brother. Interestingly, women say the chance to learn 'what guys are REALLY thinking" is the number 1 benefit of cross-gender friendship.

So does Harry WANT Sally? You bet. But if he can't have her 'that way,' friendship will do quite nicely, thank you!

About The Author

Michael Ferrell is the owner and operator of PerfectLoveLetters.com - Discover How YOU Can Quickly & Easily Create A Love Letter To Express Your Love & Devotion In Only 3½ Minutes Without Writing!

mike@choicedvd.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Guardian book club: Relationships
guardian.co.uk, UK - 4 hours ago
Their relationships, therefore, are not exactly predictable. In the first chapter, there is some peculiar triangle involving Maretta, who sits silently in ...


Endpaper: Meaningful relationships with readers
Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - 3 hours ago
The most productive relationship to arise from this latest example of the publishing industry's dogged pursuit of diversification could prove to be between ...


Best Syndication

Building a Downline with Relationships
Best Syndication, CA - 7 hours ago
It’s under the surface a relationship business. And by creating and maintaining a strong relationship with your downline, you can quickly achieve everything ...


Relationships are truly a family affair
Cape Breton Post, Canada - 11 hours ago
It’s funny how our own relationships affect those around us. From friends to significant others, the company we choose plays a valuable role in the way we ...


Wall St woos Washington at Democratic convention
Reuters - Aug 28, 2008
"It is an opportunity for them to build relationships, or just to confirm good relationships with members of Congress." Bankers, brokers and others in ...


Examiner.com

Relationships Examiner
Examiner.com - 15 hours ago
Her approach examines how relationships in work, home, and environment contribute to our well-being. The previous post is an example of the parent child ...
Relationships Examiner Examiner.com
all 2 news articles


Female guard accused of having sexual relationships with inmates
New Richmond News, WI - 13 hours ago
A female guard at a state minimum-security prison is on administrative leave, after two inmates said they had sexual relationships with her. ...


Tied to your work?
Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - 10 minutes ago
If you are leading a new project, for example, or if you manage key relationships for an account that’s very active, you are pretty hard to replace at that ...


Make plans to see 'Fireproof'
BP News, TN - 5 hours ago
26, "Fireproof" tells the story of a struggling marriage and addresses the issue of modern-day relationships head-on. The messages conveyed are clear: ...
Actor Kirk Cameron hopes people see themselves in new movie ... BP News
all 3 news articles


Personal relationships increase donations
United Press International - 21 hours ago
"The sympathy inherent to a close relationship with a victim extends to other victims, leading benefactors to prefer charities that help those suffering ...

Relationships - Google News



Relationship Articles Home Page | Relationship Articles Site Map | Singles7.com Home Page
Health | Hairstyles | Fashion57.com | Beauty | Unique Gifts | Trafficfish.com | Entertainment | Institutions | EZmatic | Sofware

Singles7.com - all Vital information and articles related to relationships.

© 2006