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How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup Whether you do the dumping or you are the one who got dumped, breakups are painful. If you initiated the breakup you may feel guilty, or question that you made the right decision. The First Ninety Days A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number of romance novels written and the huge amount of money being made in that industry. He then shared his observation that these romance novels don't usually tell their stories beyond the first ninety days or so. king Your Relationship Pattern, Part 3 Do you want to put to rest the people and situations from your past so they do not interfere with your current and future relationships?I bet you said yes. Who doesn't have something in their past they want to put to rest? Then let's talk about what action steps you can take to create the absence of past -- or completion -- in your life. The Friend Who Taught Me Knowing her day can be dreadfully tiresome when she mounts her soapbox, there's much to like and enjoy about her life so far.When she describes the understandings of her existence and its climactic moments, I compare with other ordinary people as they go through their day, terrified of what may come their way. A Friend in Need Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a new town and claimed that he needed two new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews. Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy? My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.Outrage can be intense: "How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don't spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. Office Nomance Are Office Romance's really that bad? The answer is ?.. Soul Mate Myths But the cold truth is that most people have never known the inner radiance of their own soul. Instead, they cling to the many myths about the soul mate relationship that are simply not true. Are You Really Ready For a Relationship? So often I hear, I want a boyfriend, I'm married but I'm not happy. I just got divorced and I don't want to make the same mistake again. The Type of Woman Men Fall in Love With I'd like to shed some light on something that women have been puzzled about for centuries, and that is the type of women men fall in love with. There have been so many books written on this subject, yet most have not delivered the common sense answers I am going to share with you in this issue of Smart Woman's Guide Newsletter. Put-Downs: The Whole Story What put-downs really areLet me begin by saying what they are not. Put-downs are not "harmless jokes. Approval - You Dont Need It Yesterday, after receiving a massage to help ease my computer-aided muscle tension, I was described as an over-achiever. That got me thinking about value-laden language and what it really means. Relationship Advice - How to Improve Intimacy A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue with that. Rediscovering Love and Intimacy Wendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of 14 years, had just expressed to her that he wanted to end their relationship. Wendy, terrified of being alone, was panicked. How Can I Get My Partner To Change? How much energy do you spend trying to get what you want from your partner? Think about it for a moment - how much of your thinking time is spent on what to say to your partner to get him or her to be the way you want him or her to be?Many of us spend a lot of time thinking about how to get what we want from our partner - how to get our partner to open up, be more caring, see us, love us, pay attention to us, spend time with us, have sex with us, and so on. We spend at lot of energy trying to get what we want from our partner because we believe that if only we do it right - behave right or say the right thing - we can have control over getting our partner to change. Should I Give Up Me To Not Lose You? How far can you afford to bend your values to preserve your relationship? How far can you go in giving yourself up to avoid losing your partner? How much of yourself can you afford to sacrifice to not lose someone you love? How do we find the balance between maintaining our integrity and bending our values?Most relationships require us to bend to a certain extent, but how much can we bend without a sense of loss of self?There is an inherent paradox in these questions: A truly loving relationship is a relationship where each person accepts and even values the differences between them. If you have to excessively bend your values to preserve the relationship, what are you preserving? You are not preserving a loving relationship since love does not demand that you excessively bend your values. Hey There, Whats Your Money Personality? Guys who come up to women in bars and ask: "hey baby, what's your sign?" Since statistics reveal that couples fight over money more than any other issue, maybe a better question to start off a potential relationship is to first find out the other person's money personality.I just learned about money personality typing in a recent workshop and it is quite fascinating. Are You Relationship Ready? So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly old enough and movingwell along your chosen career path. Many of your friends are either married or in committed relationships. Lifelong Partners, Lifelong Growth Many people, maybe even you, think there is only one life partner for each of us in our lives. I've got good news - we all have many, many life partners. Can Men And Women Be Friends? Or When Harry Met Sally Did He Really Just Want to Jump Her Bones? Men and women can't really be just friends, can they? Of course not. There's always that pesky sexual tension to contend with.
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